Trust your inner voice Ruby, I heard through the keys.
This is the one you are ready to share.
“They have more than enough tools to support them right now” I could hear my heart whisper…
My eyes start to well up as I find a clean page and begin to write. My chest tightens, as I think of how many times today my inner critic stuck her nose in my business, and my personal business. It may not be often these days, but she’s still there.
Some call the critic fear (an accumulation of emotions – anxiety, nervousness, shame…), others call it resistance…whichever way you spin it, it never feels good to be in that place. Usually I find her sitting inside my head, causing a slight tension at the temples.
What I’ve come to realise – most recently on a meditation retreat, is that we are not designed to be on a blissful high day and night. We’re lead to believe we can stamp it out with pleasure, one positive thought, or better still, medicate it away.
But in nature (my favourite teacher) we find an important analogy.
Just like the tides come in and out, the waves go up and down, so does the voice in our head.
I’ve learned not to ignore, push away or resist the darkness when it comes. Rather than pay too much attention to it or fuel it’s wicked desires, I attempt to take the position of the observer. If you’re a people watcher like I am, this could come naturally for you.
Perhaps you’ve heard others say “don’t worry, nothing is forever”? well, the impermanence of our emotions follows suit.
Equal to nature, another of my biggest teachers? a meditation practice.
In meditation, I get to watch and feel for a small fraction of time.
Watch thoughts become emotions, noticing the emotions in my body, perhaps some tightness or a little freedom, and then how they change the quality of the breath. The whole time assuming the “people watcher” position, as if I was sipping a long black in a beautiful Parisian cafe.
Water. Flow. Tides. In and out.
It’s perhaps why the ocean has always felt like home, the place where I can assume stillness and calm in just minutes.
Now, I would love to roll into a big “how to” on meditation, but what I would love to see you do this instead – have a go.
Whether it is 10 deep breaths between each appointment with a client, rolling out of bed before everyone for 15 minutes of quiet in the morning, in your lunch hour, or as you pull up to your parking spot to start your work day, find time to take the seat in the Parisian cafe.
You may find over time, you feel more light than you do dark and a little freedom from your inner critic.
