What I am about to say might offend some people.
Today was one of those days that could have been really overwhelming. A few things didn’t go to plan and something I had in the works didn’t go ahead. This could have left me stressed out and feeling sorry for myself and as a consequence indulging in waaaay too much raw chocolate in order to feel better.
Then I remembered something coach Brooke Castillo said in a podcast.
“Overwhelm is never caused by what is going on in your life or having too many options”
“Overwhelm is not happening to you, it’s something YOU create”
Often when we feel overwhelm, we indulge in unproductive fear-based emotions like self pity, worry or frustration.
Instead of overwhelm, the other way we could look at the situation is from a place of abundance. An abundance of options as a western woman is something we can be very grateful for. We can literally be and do anything we want without any real threat or concern for our life.
Brooke’s words really got me thinking…
Why is it that many women tell me they have a burning desire to gain clarity on a matter, but in the same sentence tell me they are overwhelmed?
That’s because clarity and overwhelm are mutually exclusive. You can’t desire one but sit in the other.
Both are states of being, one productive, the other not.
Let me give you an example of a time where I could have gone into overwhelm but instead turned it in to a super fun decision making challenge.
Planning a wedding.
As women we dream of the time in our lives where we get to plan our wedding, a time filled with excitement, creativity and possibility.
What made planning a wedding such pivotal experience were two things:
>> we decided to plan our wedding in 3 months (a short time-frame by most standards)
and
>> I was pretty poor at decision making up until this point, so something had to shift or we would have had no wedding at all.
As we went about putting the components of the wedding together, knowing time was not on our side, we HAD to make swift decisions. There was no time for deliberation, “what if’s” and overwhelm. Third dress I tried on I bought. Went to one florist. One make-up artist, no trials. Visited two or three venues and weeded out the things that weren’t on our “must have” list.
And you know what the best part was – we came in on budget, and had the most amazing day with all the things we truly wanted.
So how do we manage overwhelm and indecision? whether it be planning a wedding like me, finding a new job, or starting a new career and still move forward?
As Brooke says: we need to train our brains to manage options, because our brain wasn’t designed to handle the amount of options we have today.
If you feel even a hint of overwhelm beginning to set in, I want you to remember these 5 things:
The first thing I want you to do is ask yourself – what is the payoff for being overwhelmed right now? 99% of the time there is no upside. I also want you to remember that if you stand still, you aren’t inviting in the possibility that comes with powerful decision-making > the career you love, the money you desire, the location you dream of living in.
Second: Repeat to yourself “everything is figureoutable” – this one I took from Marie Forleo
Third: Practice making small decisions over and over again. Be on a path of discovery. You only know whether something was right or wrong once you choose something and test it.
Fourth: If you need to – break it down to a maths problem rather than an emotional and unproductive one (become stressed, complain, entertain negative thoughts). Look at the facts.
Fifth: Exercise constraint> narrow your options down first, to 2 or 3 max.
Sixth: Back yourself and follow through.
Remember it is a blessing that we have choices. Powerful choices create freedom.
Now I want to hear from you!
Ever been like me and suffered from decision-making fatigue? I want to know your secret weapon to get you out of that state of overwhelm and moving again. Leave a comment below and by sharing, you will help many other women who might need a little support.
All the best lovely,
Ruby
RESOURCE:
Brooke Castillo’s Podcast on overwhelm: https://thelifecoachschool.com/special-edition-overwhelm/
Photo by Sarah Diniz Outeiro on Unsplash
