Authenticity is a mega-buzz-word in the spiritual/personal development circles.
Every day quotes on Instagram about it.
Social media is a perfect avenue for this new found freedom. We can do a no make-up selfie without a care in the world (although thank god some days they created filters!).
Inspiring yes, but at the same time is leaving us quite confused about what authenticity really is. Including myself. To the point where the word kinda started to bug me a little.
Truth be told, authenticity, whether I like the word or not, is sexy. When I meet someone who knows who they truly are and they live through that, it’s magnetic.
My husband is one of those cool cats. Which is why today I wanted to share a recent conversation we had on the subject. He shared with me what it looks like to live authentically, and how you can know when you’re being truly authentic. Thanks hubs.
Growing up I was quite the madam and never afraid to be fully expressed. Draped in scarves and poaching mum’s expensive lipstick, I was just being me. Moving into my teens and early 20s, fitting in and wanting to be liked overshadowed some of this innocent nature. At a certain point in my life, around my late 20’s, I was tired of trying to be someone else.
All I wanted was to do me.
Five years ago when I left Architecture and immersed myself in personal development, I came across the word authenticity. At the time, it felt so right and aligned with my new direction. I’d always had strong beliefs, a certain ‘edge’ that I wasn’t afraid to explore, yet I was also unsure because I saw few role modals in the media or around me of women who truly exhibited this quality.
So let’s go back to the conversation with John.
As soon as I began to question him on authenticity, the conversation quickly turned to meditation.
Why meditation?
Meditation allows us to create trust (rather than fear) and truth, within ourselves.
Meditation fosters the ability to be alone – which provides insight into who we really are and when we know who we are we feel stable and more at peace. Our identity comes from an internal motivation rather than external.
In meditation we become closer to the universe, everything dissolves into a neutral state, everything is neither liked nor disliked.
In my experience and perhaps yours too, I discovered that being more of our authentic selves can sometimes feel like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. We can feel raw, alone and vulnerable at times, we might need to shed layers of personality that have kept us feeling distanced from our true self. We may need to shed relationships too.
However, in this process of emergence, what is key is knowing your values, your boundaries and becoming really intimate and fierce with them. Once we are, we can use them as a guide post. It creates powerful choice.
And for all the aspiring creatives in my audience:
“Making art” (as Seth Godin calls it and sharing it) will feel natural and really good, you will get to a point where you’re not “trying to impress” anyone. Side note: your art could be the way in which you prepare and serve the nightly meal for your family with such variety and vibrance, the nuances in the way you care for your patients as a doctor, the look and feel you create every time you teach a yoga class…
Instead of wanting to be liked by everyone, you’re doing it for those ‘1000 true fans’ (reference from Kevin Kelly)
And when you go first, others will follow. You will be magnetic and people will buy why you do it.
I want to finish by sharing something from Danielle LaPorte, who I consider to be one of my guides in life and work:
