Is doing less reeeeeeally hard for you too?
Do you find yourself saying yes to everyone? filling any white space with stuff?
We’re generous, giving, women and it’s a beautiful quality.
Clients, their work, families, friends…always there for that person, do that thing, one last instagram post, run that favour or cook that meal…
But like any strength, there’s always a flip-side.
Being good at giving can mean we forget about the receiving part.
What if we focussed the same amount of energy we spend on giving, on receiving?
What if we showed ourselves the love first? so we could receive from others with ease instead of feeling awkward or guilty about it?
Recently, I had an experience of what this type of receivership for myself, truly meant.
It was marked by a physically and emotionally demanding move interstate and signalled the end of our time in Melbourne.
P.S. Anyone that loves moving – can I hear your secrets?
As the moving day approached, it was like an episode of Game of Thrones – I could sense my Winter was coming.
I could feel my period about to start the day we moved. I was not surprised this occurred at all, even though it was days early.
In the week prior we’d sold off our large belongings and cleared out our apartment, till we had barely a resemblance of a home.
That moment we pulled out of the driveway signalled that I was finally free to let go.
Free to go within.
To celebrate the space, the quiet.
Sometimes we can feel bloody lost at this time – the first day or two of our cycle. I for one used to question my lack of doing. I’d resent my body for wanting me to retract from the every day. But I physically couldn’t be the giver.
In nature, this is time known as “the fertile void”, and in our work or business, we might feel like our creative juices have all but dried up.
And that’s actually ok.
Because like any cycle, there’s another season around the corner. This is the beauty of impermanence.
The next phase of our business or life is here before we’ve even blinked an eyelid.
During my “winter” I’ve noticed I feel less inclined to express myself outwardly, at least for the first day or two.
Again, I remind you, that’s ok.
We’ll be tempted to apologise publicly for the “lack of posting on social media” (I know I was tempted!), perhaps letting someone down by declining that coffee meeting, or taking a yin yoga class instead of an all out vinyasa.
We’re so much in the space of giving, that saying no on occasion feels so awkward and hard.
But this my love. This is receivership.
This is having clear boundaries.
This trusting your body – one of the most potent sources of intuition.
When it’s telling you to truly rest, invite the rest. Receive it.
When we block our ability to receive in all areas of our life – money, empathy, compliments, touch, gifts – we block the universal flow of energy, and ultimately of love.
Giving back to ourselves could mean allowing another human to care for us – such as a facial or even the simple act of enjoying our coffee in, rather than rushing for the takeaway. Space, time out, 5 minutes for yourself, they are all moments of giving back and receiving.
As high-functioning women, yes we are smart, we are resilient and we also operate at a high level output (in our work and in our families), just like our male counterparts.
We like our training hard, our life full.
But too often that comes at the cost of ensuring our needs are met – first.
If our needs aren’t met, we quickly begin to feel resentful, or disconnected from our bodies and our desires.
One day we wake up and wonder why things don’t feel a fit anymore – our jobs, our business or the company we work for.
The beauty in emphasising the receiving during our Winter, is that less is more. Life, newness, it’s all born from nothing.
I want to invite you to create space for receiving, through the season of Winter and the first few days of your cycle – every month.
Here’s 6 ways you can make it an easy practice:
- Minimise your social activity, which could simply mean the amount of time on social media – this will support the quality of rest you get
- Use the few days before you begin your cycle to tie up any loose ends, pay bills or and last minute planning, get the groceries done or even cook a nourishing meal the day or two before
- Create a little care package for yourself that you open on the first day of your cycle – it might have a special essential oil, a magazine, your favourite raw chocolate. Sometimes you can’t control the meetings, the children or your job’s demands but you can do your best to celebrate and go within around the times of doing.
- Instead of feeling like you need to externally express yourself, take this time to journal, to reconnect with your why, do a vision exercise
- Communicate with those in your life (your boss might not be ready for it just yet!) that you’ll be having a day or two of quiet. Perhaps use this as an opportunity to share with those in your life about the seasons and cycles. Maybe your girlfriend’s will get on board too?
- Shift your exercise regime from yang to yin – light yoga, walking in nature
Note: even if you don’t have a monthly cycle or a regular cycle, you can apply this same concept to your life one of two ways. By using the moon cycle or by intentionally carving out time in your month as your personal “winter” – this might be a day or two that you dedicate just for you.
If you like some of these ideas, check out my interview live with Claire Baker who specialises in helping women plan around their cycle or get your hands on my e-book – Create a Daily Routine You Love In 3 Simple Steps by subscribing here
